For the past 10 years, I have been addicted to masturbation. Please how can I stop because I hate myself when I do it.
The
urge to masturbate is a natural one and as adolescents, it signifies an
interest in sex before embarking on adult sexual relationships. But
when it becomes an obsession, or a reason you hate yourself, then it is
time to cut down on the self serving.
Follow these 5 steps to help you quit;
1. Stop punishing yourself.
Remember, you're human. Humans make mistakes, and they have sexual
urges. Neither of these things makes you a bad person. Resist the urge
of sinking into despair by remembering the times spent feeling sorry for
yourself when it could have been spent relinquishing your addiction.
2. Remove anything that tempts your urge to masturbate.
Like access to pornographic materials etc.
Also, if you notice you get
the urge to masturbate at certain times of the day, try to keep busy
with other things at those time. You could try exercising as this will
give you a release and leave you too exhausted to do much else. If you
masturbate frequently because you feel lonely, find ways to limit your
solitude. For instance, instead of watching the match at home by
yourself, watch it at a sports bar. Even if you're not hanging out with
friends, you will not be alone, ultimately having no time for
masturbation.
3. Find another outlet: Find
another outlet for your time and energy. Fill your life with engaging
activities. The excitement of doing something different can help replace
the urge to masturbate, and you'll have a go-to distraction next time
you're tempted. Try some of these options:
Get creative. The
process of turning sexual urges into creative output (called
sublimation) is something on which monks and sages have relied upon for
centuries. Start writing, learn to play a musical instrument, paint,
draw, or do whatever else makes you feel like you're doing something
productive.
Do sports. It takes discipline and persistence to
excel at a sport. Develop an interest like running or swimming, or a
group sport like soccer, football, basketball, or tennis.
Eat
healthy. Fruits and vegetables have healthy effects on the body and
provide nutrients necessary to increase your energy to be more active
throughout the day.
Find a new hobby, or cultivate a skill.
Learning something that takes a while to master can refocus your brain
on the delayed gratification of achieving goals instead of the instant
gratification of masturbation. Try skills like cooking, woodshop,
archery, baking, public speaking, or gardening.
4. Be persistent and patient.
Stopping a masturbation addiction won't hit you like a lightning bolt.
It's a process that requires commitment, and you might make mistakes or
relapse on occasions. The real struggle is persevering, so commit now
that you won't let little mistakes stand in your way. You can try
setting up a reward system. Bribe yourself to stay on-track with rewards
for good behavior. For instance, if you can go two whole weeks without
masturbating once, treat yourself by doing something else you love.
5 Seek help:
If you've tried everything and just can't seem to get your addiction
under control, it might be time to tell someone else about your problem
and ask for assistance. Don't feel ashamed, and remember that many
people have similar problems like an addiction. Seeking help is a brave
action, and most people you ask will see it as such.
Ask your
religious leader for guidance. If you belong to a church, consider
asking your local clergy for help. Keep three things in mind: First,
these people become part of the clergy because they're dedicated to
helping their congregations. Second, they've probably already assisted
someone with a masturbation addiction before. Lastly, they're bound by
strict confidentiality. Request a private appointment with your pastor,
bishop, imam, rabbi, or other religious leader, and see if his or her
advice can help you.
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